23. DUTY TO CHILDREN

God says:

“O my Lord! Bestow upon me, out of Thy grace, the gift of goodly offspring; for Thou, indeed, hearest all prayer.” - Q.3: 38
Thus prayed prophet Zachariah. He was blessed with a son who was a prophet. God Himself named him Yahya.

He creates whatever He wills: He bestows the gift of female offspring on whomever He wills, and the gift of male offspring on whomever He wills; or He gives both male and female (to whomever he wills), and causes to be barren whomever He wills. -Q.42: 49,50
Quite obviously it is a sin to blame wife if she begets a female child or if she is barren. In-laws generally commit this grievous sin. They should fear God, sincerely repent and ensure that the daughter-in-law pardons them. She suffered of their slander and God forgives only if the one who has suffered forgives first. That’s the rule.

(Righteous prays: O my Sustainer!) grant me righteousness in my offspring (as well) -Q.46: 15

When it comes to inherit your wealth and property among children deal according to laws of inheritance given in the Quran.4:11,12. Any other basis against the laws commanded by God will be against the command e.g., in certain societies daughters are deprived of inheritance!
(Advice to his son by Luqman the Wise is precious for daughters and sons of all times. See Q. 31: 13-19)


Prophet said:

1. “Treat children with respect * and make them cultured (in Islamic values)” --Ibn Majah. N: Anas.
So that they develop self respect, respect you and others as well.

Parents should, gradually and affectionately, instill in a child the belief in God and accountability to Him in the herafter, and teach the child good manners. Any question asked by the child is important to the child and should be parent’s concern, or else the child will ask outside and could be misguided. In fact, encourage the child to ask questions. “good questioning is half learning” (Bukhari. Narrator: Abu Hurairah). Be patient. Do not criticize. Explain. There will be good questioning soon inshaAllah. Correct upbringing of a child is the primary duty of parents. But we parents usually forget that we have to take the first step by trying to build the environment of God-consciousness (taqwa) at home. “O you who have attained to faith! Why do you say one thing and do another? Most loathsome is it in the sight of God that you say what you do not do!” Q.61:2,3. Lastly, let us never be too liberal or too strict but follow the middle course between the two extremes. Religion is easy. We should not make it difficult. “do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately,”– (fraction of hadith sahih al-bukhari, vol. 8, hadith no.470)

2. “Whoever suffers for anything on account of daughters and (still) treats them with kindness, for him they will be shield from hell” – H: Bukhari & Muslim. N: Bibi Ayesha.

3. “Let me teach you the best form of charity: (maintaining) your daughter who has returned to you, and who has no other earning member but you” -- H: Ibn Majah. N: Soraqah bin Malik.

4. “…whoever maintains three daughters or same number of sisters, and train them with good manners, and treats them kindly till God makes them free from wants, God will make paradise sure for him.” A man asked: O Messenger of God! If (they are) two. The Prophet said, “(Even) if two.” – H: Baihaqi. N: Ibn Abbas.
Quran and Hadis abolished the abominable custom of disliking daughters and gave them unprecedented status as can be seen from the traditions above.