4.16. SIGHTING AND CONSENT

 
God says

…marry of the women, who seems good to you,…. Q.4:3


Prophet said

“A previously married women (widower or divorcee) will not be married until she gives her consent, nor a virgin be married till her consent is sought.” -- H: Bukhari and Muslim. N: AbuHurairah

“A grown up girl shall be asked permission about herself.  Her consent is in her silence; and if she declines, there will be no compulsion on her.” -- H: Tirmizi, Abu Daud and Nisai. N: Abu Hurairah.

Khansa’a-b-Khejan reported that she was a grown up women and her father gave her in marriage which she disliked.  Therefore, she came to the Holy Prophet. He annulled the marriage. —  H: Bukhari.

Mughaira-b-Sh’ubah reported: I sought a woman in marriage. The holy Prophet asked me: “Have you seen her?” I said that I had not. He said: “Then look at her…” – H: Ahmed, Tirmizi, Nisai and Ibn Majah.

4.15. CHOICE OF MARRIAGE PARTNER

God says

Do not marry women who ascribe divinity to anything beside God before they attain to [true] belief: for any believing bondwoman [of God] is certainly better than a women who ascribes divinity to aught beside God, even though she may please you greatly. And do not give your women in marriage to men who ascribe divinity to anything beside God before they attain to [true] belief: for any believing bondman [of God] is certainly better than a man who describes divinity to anything beside God, even though he may please you greatly. [Such as] these invite into the fire, whereas God invites into paradise and unto [the achievement of] forgiveness by His leave; and He makes clear His messages unto mankind, so that they might bear them in mind. -- Q.2:221

…. And [lawful to you are], in wedlock, chaste women from among those who believe [in this divine writ], and, in wedlock, chaste women from among those who have been vouchsafed revelation before your time --  provided that you give them their dowers,* taking them in honest wedlock, not in fornication, nor as secret love-companions**……Q.5:5  
*In Islam dower is to be paid by man to the woman.
Demanding dowry from woman is absolutely un-Islamic, although in certain Muslim societies the sinful practice is unfortunately prevalent.
**Whereas Muslim men are allowed to marry women from among the followers of another revealed religion, Muslim women may not marry non-Muslims the reason being that Islam enjoins reverence of all the prophets, while the followers of other religions reject some of them – e.g., the Prophet Muhammad or, as is the case with Jews, both Muhammad and Jesus. Thus, while a non-Muslim woman who marries a Muslim can be sure that – despite all doctrinal differences – the prophets of her faith will be mentioned with utmost respect in her Muslim environment, a Muslim woman who would marry a non-Muslim would always be exposed to an abuse of him whom she regards as God’s Apostle.

[In the nature of things,] corrupt women are for corrupt men and corrupt men, for corrupt women – just as good women are for good men, and good men, for good women…. Q.24:26

Prophet said

 “A woman is married for four things: for her property, or accomplishment, or beauty, or for her religion.  Select  one  having  religious  temperament.” – H: Bukhari and Muslim. N: Abu Hurairah.

“When you are sought in marriage by a man with whom you are pleased for his religion and for his character, get yourself married to him” -- H: Tirmizi. Narrator: Abu Hurairah,

4.14. MARRIAGE (concluded)

God says

Verily those who [falsely, and without repentance,] accuse chaste women who may have been unthinkingly careless but have remained true to their faith*, shall be rejected [from God’s grace] in this world as well as in the life to come: and awesome suffering awaits them on the Day when their own tongues and hands and feet will bear witness against them by [recalling] all that they did! -- Q.24: 23,24 
*Lit., “chaste, unmindful [or “careless”] believing women”, I.e., virtuous woman who thoughtlessly expose themselves to situations on which a slanderous construction may be put.

And among His wonders is this: He creates mates for you of your own kind*, so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you: in this, behold, there are messages for people who think!
*I.e., “from among yourselves.” -- Q.30.21


Prophet said                

“Most blessed marriage is the one that gives the least trouble”*  -- H: Bukhari. N: Bibi Ayesha.
  *Much emphasis in Islam is on ease and simplicity; forbidden is excess and the show-off. Ostentatious style of the affluent causes distress to many who become its victim in matter of weddings, for instance. They try hard, somehow, to be pretentious even though they cannot afford it.

The affluent should seriously consider to go for high rewards, instead, and divert their resources in the service of the helpless, the needy. “One who strives for the widows and the poor is like one who struggles in the way of God”, said the Prophet, “I shall regard him as one who stands up (for prayer) without rest and as one who fasts without break” * – H: Bukhari, Muslim and other compilations. N: Abu Hurairah

4.14. MARRIAGE (to be continued)

God says

…..And consort with your wives on a footing of kindness and equity; if you take dislike to them it may well be that you dislike something which God might yet make a source of abundant good. -- Q.4: 19  

And unto those with whom you desire to enjoy marriage, you shall give the dowers (Mahr) due to them; Q.4:24

Men shall take full care of women with the bounties that God has bestowed more abundantly on the former than the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions. And the righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard their intimacy which God has [ordained] to be guarded. -- Q.4: 34  


Prophet said                

“For two mutual lovers, you will find nothing like marriage” -- H: Ibn Majah. N: Ibn Abbas.

“Having married, a man has indeed made his religion half perfect. Let him then obey God (and get perfected) the remaining half.” - H: Bukhari. N: Anas.

“Fear God regarding women. Verily you have married them with God’s trust…’’ -- H: Bukhari and Muslim. N: Jabir-b-Abdullah.