25. DUTY TOWARDS HUSBAND

God says:

The righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard their intimacy which God has (ordained to be) guarded. -- Q.4: 34

[God said,] “I shall not lose sight of labour of any of you who labours [in My way], be it man or woman: each of you is an issue of the other. -- Q.3: 195
i.e., “you all are members of same human race, and therefore equal to one another.”


Prophet said

1. “…woman is a queen over the members of the household of her husband and of his children, and she will be asked about them.” --- H: Bukhari and Muslim. N: Abdullah bin Omar.

2. “The best of wealth is a tongue remembering God, a grateful heart, and a believing wife who helps (the husband) in his faith”– H: Ahmed, Tirmizi and Ibn Majah. N: Saoban.

3. “ Next to God-consciousness the believer finds nothing better for him than a virtuous wife…” – H: Ibn Majah. N: Abu Omamah.

24. DUTY TOWARDS WIFE

God says:

….in accordance with justice, the rights of the wives (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husbands`) rights with regard to them…. Q.2: 228

Verily those who falsely, (and without repentance,) accuse chaste women who may have been unthinkingly careless but have remained true to their faith, shall be rejected (from God’s grace) in this world as well as in the life to come: and awesome suffering awaits them on the Day when their own tongues and hands and feet will bear witness against them by [recalling] all that they did! -- Q.24: 23,24



Prophet said:

1. Bibi Ayesha reported that (once when) she had accompanied the Prophet on a journey she raced with him on foot and overtook him. Later, when she had put on weight she had (an occasion to again) race with him, and he overtook her. He said, “This is for that defeat” – H: Abu Daud.

2. Bibi Ayesha reported: While the Negroes were showing their skill with spears inside the mosque, the Prophet was standing at the entrance of my room holding his sheet for cover, enabling me to look at their sport from between his ear and his shoulder. He kept on for my sake until I left. -- Bukhari and Muslim.

3. Bibi Ayesha reported: The Messenger of God told me, ”I know for certain when you are pleased with me and when you are not.” I asked: how do you know that? He replied,” When you are pleased with me you say ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad’ and when you are displeased, you say ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham’. I said: Yes, O Messenger of God! By God I shall leave nothing but only your name. – H: Bukhari and Muslim.

4. Same reported that, when the Messenger of God had returned from the battle of Tabrk or of Hunain. (Then it so happened that) the blowing wind partly moved the curtain of her store area and, hence, disclosed the daughters (dolls) of Ayesha. He asked,”O Ayesha! What is this?” She said: My daughters. Then he saw among them a horse that had two wings made of rags, (so) he enquired, “What is this that I see in their midst?” She said: a horse. He asked, ”And what is this thing over it?” Two wings, she said. He remarked, “Horse having two wings!” She said: Have you not heard that Solomon had horses having wings? He laughed heartily till I saw his rear teeth. – H: Abu Daud.

24. DUTY TOWARDS WIFE

God says

…. wives are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment for them. Q.2: 187

…marry of the (Muslim) women, who seem good to you … Q.4: 3
A spiritual relationship between man and woman is postulated as the indispensable basis of sexual relations. ( See Qur’an 2:223.)

….Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity; if you take dislike to them it may well be that you dislike a thing and God brings about through it a great deal of good Q.4: 19

(Addressed to men and women): Do not marry women who ascribe divinity to aught beside God before they attain to [true] belief : for any believing bondwoman [of God] is certainly better than a woman who ascribe divinity to aught beside God, even though she pleases you greatly. And do not give your women in marriage to men who ascribe divinity to aught beside God before they attain to [true] belief : for any believing bondman [of God] is certainly better than a man who ascribes divinity to aught beside God, even though he please you greatly. [Such as ] these invite unto the fire, whereas God invite unto paradise, and [unto the achievement of] forgiveness by his leave; and He makes clear His messages unto mankind, so that they might bear them in mind. Q.2: 221


Prophet said

1. “Fear God with regard to women. Indeed, you have married them with the trust of God.” – H: Bukhari and Muslim. N: Jabir-b-Abdullah.

2. “…best of you are those who are best with their wives.” – H: Tirmizi. N: Abu Hurairah

3. “Man is a king over the members of his household and (on the Judgement Day) he will be asked (how he cared) for his ‘subjects’.” – H: Bukhari and Muslim. N: Abdullah b Omer.

4. “He (or she) is not of us who poisons the mind of a woman against her husband”– H: Abu Daud. N: Abu Hurairah.

Those who claim to have not enough time for their family must remember that the Prophet’s task was enormous and schedule much heavier. Yet he found time to humor his wives and to entertain them. Read next Fridaypost. The topic 24 will continue, insha Allah.

23. DUTY TO CHILDREN

God says:

“O my Lord! Bestow upon me, out of Thy grace, the gift of goodly offspring; for Thou, indeed, hearest all prayer.” - Q.3: 38
Thus prayed prophet Zachariah. He was blessed with a son who was a prophet. God Himself named him Yahya.

He creates whatever He wills: He bestows the gift of female offspring on whomever He wills, and the gift of male offspring on whomever He wills; or He gives both male and female (to whomever he wills), and causes to be barren whomever He wills. -Q.42: 49,50
Quite obviously it is a sin to blame wife if she begets a female child or if she is barren. In-laws generally commit this grievous sin. They should fear God, sincerely repent and ensure that the daughter-in-law pardons them. She suffered of their slander and God forgives only if the one who has suffered forgives first. That’s the rule.

(Righteous prays: O my Sustainer!) grant me righteousness in my offspring (as well) -Q.46: 15

When it comes to inherit your wealth and property among children deal according to laws of inheritance given in the Quran.4:11,12. Any other basis against the laws commanded by God will be against the command e.g., in certain societies daughters are deprived of inheritance!
(Advice to his son by Luqman the Wise is precious for daughters and sons of all times. See Q. 31: 13-19)


Prophet said:

1. “Treat children with respect * and make them cultured (in Islamic values)” --Ibn Majah. N: Anas.
So that they develop self respect, respect you and others as well.

Parents should, gradually and affectionately, instill in a child the belief in God and accountability to Him in the herafter, and teach the child good manners. Any question asked by the child is important to the child and should be parent’s concern, or else the child will ask outside and could be misguided. In fact, encourage the child to ask questions. “good questioning is half learning” (Bukhari. Narrator: Abu Hurairah). Be patient. Do not criticize. Explain. There will be good questioning soon inshaAllah. Correct upbringing of a child is the primary duty of parents. But we parents usually forget that we have to take the first step by trying to build the environment of God-consciousness (taqwa) at home. “O you who have attained to faith! Why do you say one thing and do another? Most loathsome is it in the sight of God that you say what you do not do!” Q.61:2,3. Lastly, let us never be too liberal or too strict but follow the middle course between the two extremes. Religion is easy. We should not make it difficult. “do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately,”– (fraction of hadith sahih al-bukhari, vol. 8, hadith no.470)

2. “Whoever suffers for anything on account of daughters and (still) treats them with kindness, for him they will be shield from hell” – H: Bukhari & Muslim. N: Bibi Ayesha.

3. “Let me teach you the best form of charity: (maintaining) your daughter who has returned to you, and who has no other earning member but you” -- H: Ibn Majah. N: Soraqah bin Malik.

4. “…whoever maintains three daughters or same number of sisters, and train them with good manners, and treats them kindly till God makes them free from wants, God will make paradise sure for him.” A man asked: O Messenger of God! If (they are) two. The Prophet said, “(Even) if two.” – H: Baihaqi. N: Ibn Abbas.
Quran and Hadis abolished the abominable custom of disliking daughters and gave them unprecedented status as can be seen from the traditions above.